Thursday, September 10, 2009


Our guest room rivals Babies R' Us right now with the amount of baby stuff that's crammed in there. The time I've been dreading has arrived-it's time to pack up the truly "baby" stuff and make room for the little guy's toddler stuff. I kept putting clothes and other things he had outgrown in the guest room telling myself I'd get to it later. Later has come and I realize that I've put it off this long because I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to his "baby-ness".
He's growing up so fast-chasing and teasing the dog. Chattering away to himself (and anyone else who will listen). Laughing at his own inside jokes and at his silly mommy and daddy. Pulling himself up on the couch and walking around holding on to it. Feeding himself. Grabbing the spoon out of my hand so he can do it. His feet are touching the back seat in his rear facing car seat, and he's almost maxed out the weight, so it's time to say goodbye to that as well.
It's so exciting to imagine the type of boy he'll be and the man he'll grow up to be, but I wish he would slow down. Inside I'm screaming, "slow down, I'm not ready" and sometimes when I watch him play my eyes well up with tears.
When I was in those first few weeks of me not sleeping and him not eating well, it felt like things were always going to be that way. I never believed people really when they said that it all goes by so fast. But that feels like a lifetime ago. It's so hard to picture my life before him. He's such a part of me-like I was just waiting for him to come along, but I've known and loved him forever. Does that make sense?
I better get to packing up his little baby stuff before I lose my nerve.

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